Self-Disclosure: (Some of) The Things We Wish Our Therapists Would Share

I’m someone who loves to learn things the hard way. I’m that person who has to make the same mistake (usually more than once!) before I wise up. 

Stayed in relationships and jobs past their expiration date?

Check!

Tried to find comfort by binging on cake and/or Netflix?

Of course!

Other things I’m not quite ready to tell you this soon, but will share later?

You betcha.

In fact, I was so good at doing things the wrong way, that after learning way too many lessons, I decided to make a career out of it. Yes, I became a therapist so I could put all these lessons to good use. After all, isn’t it better that I make mistakes so you don’t have to?

See, before becoming a therapist, I lived a very different life.

One that didn’t serve me or anyone around me.

I grew up in a suburb outside of New York City in a family that valued high achievement. Like many, I was taught that success is an external thing you pursue. An esteemed job you can brag about is like the Holy Grail for many in my culture, and I bought into that concept hard. Eventually I learned what success and happiness really meant, but it wasn’t until I exhausted every other option. 

Continuing the theme of seeking happiness outside myself,  I began a love-hate relationship with medication at age 14. Anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, ADD meds, sleep aids. You name it, I took it. At that age, no one taught me the thinking and coping skills I probably should have known. 

I loved having a diagnosis; it was a label that could define me and explain the way I felt. While the label changed depending on when or whom you asked, it comforted me.  On some level, it made me feel understood, but it also made me feel stuck. I felt like I had no choices, and this was “just who I am.” Not surprisingly, things got worse. Beyond the constant medication changes and side effect balancing game, it confirmed my belief that true happiness was an external thing I had to “get.”

I felt flawed, broken, and alone.

Years, relationships, and many poor coping mechanisms later, I had a rather traumatic “Aha!” moment and realized I needed to make a change. 

At that moment, my health and happiness became my responsibility;

It wasn’t for a person, a pill, or a thing to fix. I wasn’t broken at all! It was the most empowering moment of my life. From then on, my life immediately changed.

Now, my vision of success isn’t an external thing you “pursue, ” but an internal state of connection and bliss. I cultivated this even more by earning two Masters Degrees, researching and specializing in trauma recovery, and sharing my story on major media platforms (pardon the humble brag, but I worked hard for that!)

Even my dog became a therapy dog, he comes to work with me every day!  

Now, I’m not going to lie- it took work.

After all, I had to unlearn nearly two decades of learned beliefs and behaviors. The methodologies I employ are based on my clinical training and personal experiences. I’ll never ask a Client to try a tool, learn a skill, or complete an exercise that I have not tested out myself. 

Therapy is a partnership. And now that I’ve self-disclosed more than any still-faced, old-school therapist typically would, I leave the next step to you. If you’ve read all this and feel like we’d be a good fit, click here. I look forward to hearing from you.