After traveling for the past week, I feel crappy. Between watching my adorable niece, not sleeping in my own bed, and not having my usual routine, I feel a bit disconnected with myself. I saw this coming and I prepared by bringing spiritual texts, my journal, and my favorite teas. Yet somehow, I spent the week eating deliciously unhealthy food, cutting down on my meditation, and working too hard without real direction.
Why is this?
Self-sabotage to be more specific.
It's more common than you think!
3 Ways We Self-Sabotage:
1. Are you emotionally unavailable to yourself?
It’s like shooting yourself in the foot. Sure, you can pick up your phone and text someone to distract yourself. You can eat when you're not hungry. You can have another drink. You can even work late into the night. Your behavior becomes self-sabotage when your attempts to deny emotions actually create new problems, get in the way of your goals, or impact your relationships. Ask yourself, “what is really the worst that could happen if I allow myself to be still and feel for 5 minutes?”
2. Do you procrastinate?
I once had a friend in college tell me, “Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, it’s great until you realize you’re f***ing yourself.” Though crass, she had a good point. Procrastination is the space between intention and action. The ego is great at rationalizing anything that forces us to confront a fear. So why not pause Netflix and actually ask yourself, "Why am I putting this off?" Don’t worry, Netflix remembers where you left off.
3. Are you codependent?
Do you give up what you want to the point that you don’t even remember it anymore? Do you skip out on your friends and hobbies to be with your partner? Do you even remember what those hobbies were? It can be a lot easier to focus on a relationship instead of on yourself. But not only is “playing house” playing small, but it isn’t real. Ask yourself "who would I be if my partner didn’t come into my life? What would I be doing? What would I create?"
Self-sabotage isn’t a one-time act. It’s a process. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s part of being human. It’s when you fix those mistakes with more mistakes that you turn into a saboteur. Review these 3 self-sabotaging moves so you can check yourself (before you wreck yourself!)
How do you self-sabotage? Share your experience with me in the Comments section below!