Can You Control Your Destiny?

Do you ever wonder whether you can control your life or if you're simply reacting to the things that happen to you? Do you ever wish you could play an active role in creating a life you love?

Recently, a client commented on his party-boy lifestyle, stating, “I guess it took me 10 years to change.”


It did not take him 10 years to do anything. It only took him one moment to DECIDE to take action. It took him all those years to get to the point that he was willing to make a change. Let me explain:

It’s not the conditions that shape your destiny, it’s the decisions.
— Anthony Robbins

Every decision, big and small, shapes your life: what you decide to eat, where you decide to go, whom you decide to date. Most of us wait until we’re “ready” to make a change. So we wait until our current situation is bad enough that we're willing to try something new.

But what if you didn’t have to wait until that rock-bottom moment?

What if you could consciously design your life instead of simply reacting to it?

Good news: You can!

In every moment, we make 3 decisions (consciously or unconsciously):

The 3 Decisions That Shape Our Destiny:

1. What are you going to focus on?

Right now, you can focus on what you DO want (a great job, a loving relationship, a healthy body) or what you DON'T want (to lose your job, for your spouse to leave you, to get sick.) Often we spend our time focusing on what we fear instead of what we value. We play out hypothetical scenes and feel like crap about things that haven’t even happened! But, when you focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t, your emotions begin to shift. And when you master your internal world, you master your external world. Why? Because what we give our attention to grows. Our blinders come off and we see new possibilities, new resources, and new opportunities.

2. What does this mean?

After you choose where to focus, you choose to assign it meaning. Let’s say you lose your job. You can choose to see it as the end of a chapter or the beginning of a new one. Whatever meaning you give to an experience is what it becomes. It becomes a core belief within you. Remember, we typically make these decisions unconsciously based on previous unconscious decisions. If you actively choose a meaning that empowers you, you change your story and change how you feel.

3. What action will you take?

The third decision we make comes from the emotions caused by #2. Emotions inspire us either to take action or fear action. Thus, the meaning you assign to things impacts the decisions you make and actions you take.  In that same example, if you’re angry or depressed about your job you will take a very different action than if you are determined or inspired.

If you want to control your destiny, ask yourself whether you take time to consciously design your life or whether you unconsciously react to what life hands you.  It’s your life. It’s your choice.  

Do you control your destiny?  Share your story in the Comments section below!