This is happening FOR you, not TO you


Months ago, I was crying on my bathroom floor. If you had told me “this is happening for you, not to you,” I would have punched you in the face.

But here’s why you shouldn’t do the same.

  • Have you ever looked back and thought “hindsight is 20/20?”
  • Maybe you felt grateful for something that was painful at the time.
  • Maybe you learned a valuable lesson about life or yourself after such an experience.

Yesterday I was asked to become a regular contributor to a wellness website I’ve been reading for years. Ironically, they’d like me to write about relationships.  And it finally hit me, those moments on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out happened FOR me. It allowed me to step into my potential and help others do the same. (Yup, I made all those mistakes so you don’t have to!) And while I’ve found gratitude and made peace with most of my past, I was having difficulty seeing how my last relationship happened “for” me.

Until now.

Because of those moments, I learned who I am. I learned my truth. I learned how to value myself. I learned how to love myself. Ultimately, I learned how to let go of everything I thought I was and embrace who I truly am.

So why am I telling you this? To tell you that:

In this moment, we see nothing as it is.

Everything we see around us is tainted by our past experiences, our narrow view, and our absence of truth. Even things as simple as that cup of Starbucks you’re holding. You don't actually see it for what it is; rather, you see it through all your memories. You know that if you drop it, it might spill but it won't break. You can't possibly know that from looking at it. You just remember what happens to paper cups.

Now extend that to other areas of your life or whatever you’re going through right now.

Ultimately, you do not know what anything is for. You think that you’re in this job to make money to pay your rent, but you only see the world in terms of your ego’s goals (or personal interests.) You only see things with the meaning that you’ve assigned to it.

In order to truly see, you have to surrender the “meaning” behind the goals.

Because, in all honesty, we don’t know what anything is for. We simply need to trust that there is a greater reason, a greater lesson that we will be able to take away from this. Nothing is as we see it.

Everything happens for us, not to us. The sooner we accept this truth, the sooner we can let go of what’s holding us back and step into our potential.

So the next time you’re feeling upset, overwhelmed, or angry, ask yourself, “How is this happening for me?” You might be surprised at what you find.

Are you feeling stuck? Share your story in the Comments section below!